luxemburger

smeetie is being totally awesome and sharing very cool music. You should go over, check it out and give her love.

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Randomly, I ran across this image somewhere, don't remember where now, and it totally reminded me of Skins. Not long before the new series!

A song that has become more meaningful to me since transitioning:

Inside A Boy - My Brightest Diamond

and in his eyes
are a thousand stars
on a dark sky

we are clouds
we are whispers
like fawns and shape-shifters
our edges can never be found out

Glee

Will Shuester is a douche. <- not a spoiler

( spoilers )

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In other TV news, am I correct that "White Collar" is moving to Tuesdays at 10 pm when it returns in January? Does this mean that I will have an awesome Tuesday night block of "Leverage" at 9 pm and "White Collar" at 10 pm? (I will have to record "The Good Wife" and watch it at some other time.) And "Psych" is moving to Wednesdays at 10 pm (which makes things difficult for me, because that is when I generally watch "Glee" since I watch "Criminal Minds" at 9 pm)? Will "Burn Notice" be at 10 pm on Thuresdays, or are they bringing back "Royal Pains" in that time slot, and BN will be against SPN? I need to get this all figured out.

Isn't USA an NBC property? It amuses me that they are going after Leno at 10 on the weeknights.

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In other non-TV news, I think I have an idea for my yuletide story. An idea that isn't simply one thousand words of [CENSORED] and [CENSORED] with some [CENSORED] thrown in. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully I can do it. I may have to find someone outside my usual beta circles on this one. That is always nerve-wracking. We'll see, I guess.

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This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/102245.html. people have commented there.

Well this time next week I will hopefully be legally Melissa! My court date is next Wednesday, and I am full of emotions! I am excited and nervous at the same time. I have been having mild anxiety attacks and eye twitches over the last week. I really can't wait till it's over, but at the same time I feel like I might be going too fast for my family. My parents found out about me in July, and here it is December and I am changing my name! I was thinking I would do this early next year, and that would give them time to adjust some more.

Anyways for those who have gone through a name change do you think I am moving too fast, and what kind of emotions did you go through before the court date and after?

Peace

Melissa :)

Title: Lessons
Author: Femvamp
Disclaimer: Show not mine.
Note: This came out of an idea I had about making the good guys bad guys. So in this Emily Prentiss is the BAU's newest UNSUB. BEWARE.

( Read more... )

Hello all!
My first tattoo is under the cut
( Who's afraid of the .... )

1. Somehow, every night for the past... four? days I've felt super depressed right before going to sleep. I even took an anxiolytic pill last night and it made me feel better, but there were a few minutes of paranoia anyway. It's so bizarre. I'm actually beginning to figure out what the fuck I want to do that might actually be plausible for me to do, so this makes pretty much zero sense.

2. I'm going to go to bed in about an hour, after I watch the Leverage pilot (which I never got round to, because I caught the show on cable last spring on the weekly rerun of 1x02 and went from there) to see if that distracts me from my crazy, so might as well ask — I just finished the last part of Walk Like Rain (thank. fucking. god), my Rachel/Quinn Sky High fusion, and while I'm holding true to the whole "I won't edit this thing in depth until February" thing, a proofreading/missing-word-spotting/sensemaking-confirming beta would come in really handy. I really want to post as soon as possible so I can forget about it and start working on my holiday ficathon assignments, so—anyone? Before I go to sleep? (Like, I'd send it over before that, not like I expect you to be done before that.)

—oh, by the way, it's 16,900 words long. Don't want to ambush anybody with the word count.

3. On the topic of asking, this is kind of terrible of me, but as you guys know my current Internet connection is shit, and I really hate that I can't keep downloading The West Wing. :( If someone could send me some DVDs with seasons 2-7, as many or as few as you want? You'd be a real lifesaver. (Or, like, assorted past episodes of The Daily Show or The Colbert Report wouldn't hurt either. I miss Jon and Stephen so much.) (Or Leverage season 1.) I have a pretty huge collection of movies (as in, .avi files) so I could probably try to send something back.

4. And just to add an extra bit of patheticness to this entry—like it even needs it—I, um, would really appreciate some kind of crash course in David Henrie/Selena Gomez. Links to pictures, videos, interviews, primers, really just about anything would be really, really helpful. (And don't underestimate my ignorance—if you think I've probably seen something already, I most likely have not.)

( since this is pretty pointless anyway, here are the songs from that character association meme I did the other day. )

Dear Brits, again. Paracetamol? Common usage? Yes? :D? (tm pirateygoodness). Thanks in advance for any help!

Crocuses

These crocuses are appalling:
pale, bare, tender stems rising
through the muddy winter-faded turf,

shivering petals the almost luminous mauve
of lurid bruises on the frightened faces
and naked bodies of men, women, children

herded into a forest clearing or
towards a siding where a train has halted
and the trucks are waiting.

--Ruth Fainlight, from Acumen

I've been on 50 mg/daily of T cream since November 14th and for the past four nights I've awoken up from my sleep several times feeling anxious with my heart racing for no reason that I can really think of (I'm not waking up because of nightmares or anything). I have never experienced this before. Could this be related to recently starting T?

Edit: 50 mg/1 g of 5% cream.

A couple quick things:

topazera made a fanmix for Les Cousins Dangereux, the Dawn/Connor Jossverse sort-of-incest fic (haha, hoo boy) I wrote way back when, which was just super, super cool of her. It's a really awesome mix with some great songs and fanart, so you should definitely check it out! Mix is here, fic it's based on is here.

Thanksgiving's over, which means my playlist has turned to Christmas songs, heavy on Sufjan Steven's Christmas albums, as that is the wretch I am. (Also, number of versions of "All I Want for Christmas Is You" on said playlist: five.) Here are some of the songs I'm hitting the hardest right now:

Christmas In The Room by Sufjan
Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming by Feist
The Friendly Beasts by Sufjan

Annnnd just so this post has a little more to it, I'll do that fic meme that was going around, if anyone wants to play:

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

My fic is here.

Heart still cracked. Feeling lonely and less than pretty. I want to make sure he knows everything he lost.

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I just looked at my prompts for aiholidaybash and realized that the story I had planned doesn't actually fit the prompt. And also that it's due in two weeks.

HOW DO I LET THESE THINGS HAPPEN???

I'm tempted to drop out and work on my charity fic instead. But I hate dropping out. Uuuuggggghhhh. Take this poll. Tell me what to do.

Poll #1493531 fic-related activities
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 15

Tell me what to do:

If you answered "drop out", what should I write instead?

battle not with monsters
lest ye become a monster
and if you gaze into the abyss
the abyss gazes into you