luxemburger

Okay. Really have to figure out when I'm going to go home. I was going to go home next weekend, and then I got confused and thought I was going home this weekend, then I remembered that it was meant to be next weekend, but now? Now I think I'm working both weekends. And working is really the best thing for me because working means I get money and I need money, except there's Ali and my dad. And they are both counting on me to come home. Dammit.

Anyway. Jen gave me an extra shift Saturday night. I'll be there later than I've been yet, which means that I'm going to experience my first drunk rush. Yay for third shift. Apparently a production guy was asking Jen and Kelly about "the new girl" and whether or not she's cute, and they laughed and told him he's not my type. There was an embarrassing moment when he came in last night and we finally met and Jen said, "See, she's cute, but you're really not her type." I'm not sure if I was more embarrassed or if he was, but there was a fair amount of blushing involved.

I spent the night in the new place last night! I was worried about making a bad first living together impression on Eric because I wasn't scheduled to get off work until midnight, which means who knew when I'd be back. So I left him a little note (that I spent far too much time working on, I think I went through five drafts, yes I'm a loser), letting him know that I wouldn't be back till late so please don't come down with a baseball bat if you hear someone coming in, it's just me - and then he wasn't even there when I got back. I think I heard him come in around three. I guess he was serious when he said I'll have the place to myself most of the time.

I already miss having the internet, but I want to wait a couple of weeks before I have DSL hooked up. I'm at Panera now, and I'm going to go grocery shopping in a little bit. I'm not sure what to get. I want to spend as little money as possible, but I also want food to eat. I'm thinking about a big box of white rice, and then maybe things that go with rice. I could get some chicken and then just have variations on chicken and rice every night. That actually sounds pretty good. And filling. And repetitive, but hey. I can make sauces.

So yesterday Kristin and I took my bed and a couple of boxes over to the new place, and then we went back to her apartment for a couple of hours because I still had things there and it's much closer to work for me. So I was going to get ready for work, grab a couple more boxes, stick them in my car, go to work - and then go to my apartment to sleep. So once I left for work, I wasn't going to see Kristin again (until I went back for more of my stuff, anyway). Except I was wrong about what time I had to be to work - I thought 4, but I wasn't supposed to be in until 5 - so I went back, and when she opened the door, her eyes were red and she'd been crying. I sheepishly explained my mistake, and she swore rather loudly and told me I couldn't stay. So. That was awkward.

I went back for more of my stuff this afternoon, and that was less awkward. But not much less.

Have I mentioned that I'm happy to be out of there? The day before yesterday she had a list of six or seven movies she wanted from Blockbuster, so she asked me if I'd take her there since I'm the one with a card. So we went to Blockbuster, and when we got there she decided she didn't want any movies after all. I feel like this describes a lot about our relationship. I'm going to miss her, but the keywords on this icon have never been more appropriate.

I started moving today, yay. :D

( Picspam of my new place. )

Hee. I love it so much. I'm going to put my bed in the corner in the second picture, and a dresser along the wall to the right of the closet when I get one again. I think my parents are bringing that later this month. And then I don't know how I'm going to decorate. But hee. Space of my own. It's a beautiful thing.

Also, I was looking through folders of pictures earlier and I realized that I have next to no pictures of myself smirking. I smirk a lot. It's one of my default expressions, I think, so it's weird that there aren't any pictures of me doing it. Possibly because smirking pictures always look ridiculous, but yes.

( In which I smirk. )

I fully intend to lose my voice tonight. We're leaving for Louisville in a couple of hours. I offered (multiple times) to find someone else to go with me, but Kristin says she wants to go. Whatever. I guess we're friends for a few more days.

One more road trip, and I am never going to come off of this weekend's high. Signing the lease. My mom calling to say that the bastard confessed to everything. Taking tables of my own and having J think I've done this before. Cara coming home. Seeing Sleater-Kinney.

( Apartment stuff. )

Okay. Have to get ready for the concert. This is going to be bittersweet.

Goodbye, awkward living arrangements!

I've been holding off on trying to find somewhere else to live until I was more sure of how much money I'd have for a security deposit, but I started looking this morning. I responded to an ad in the IDS. Got a response to my response. Went to check the place out. Fell in love. And hee, tomorrow I meet with the landlady and a lease. What was I stressing over again?

I'm going to be living south of town in a converted schoolhouse. (Eee, how awesome is that?) It's been split into three... sections? The landlady and her male friend live in one section, her son and his wife live in another, and then my housemate and I live in the third. His name's Eric and he works for the city. He's also a rock-climbing instructor. He says he's gone a lot.

My bedroom is yellow, and it has a slanting roof with a skylight. I can move in any time after this weekend. Did I mention there's a skylight? And that the whole place is surrounded by lots and lots of green field?

I'm super excited. The only downside is that Kristin doesn't want to be friends after I leave. I get that. Really I do. She doesn't want to be friends with the girl who broke her heart, but it still makes me sad. We dated for almost a year and a half. An intense year and a half. We'd probably still be dating if she hadn't taken me for granted in nearly every way possible. I don't want her to disappear from my life.

I told her that. My exact words were, "I don't want to lose you."

She said, "You already did."

It doesn't seem fair. If we're not going to be friends, I want her to admit that she's the one who lost me. I want her to admit that she made a huge mistake.

Grr, argh!

I have an appointment in 25 minutes with a potential room/apartment/housemate, and I'm trying to figure out if I look okay or not, but every mirror and camera in the apartment is showing me something different. Oh well. His first impression is going to be whatever it's going to be.

( For the record, this is how I look today. )

P.S. Take another Emily White song.