luxemburger

How happy am I? Mmm.

I wake up at seven in the morning to discover the sound of the rain on the roof. It's payday. I don't have to be to work until 10 pm. I saw Meghan every day last week, including four times outside of work. (Comparison: it took a month and a half to see her five times outside of work.) She's coming over again tonight. On Sunday, we're going on a double date with Kelly and Mike.

Last week she finally stopped trying to keep Kasey happy. When she came over last Wednesday night, she actually told Kasey she was coming over here. She also told her that she fully intends to pursue a relationship with me. Before she came over two nights ago, Meghan told her that I reciprocate the feelings. Kasey punched a hole in the wall. Yesterday she asked if we've kissed and if Meghan liked it, and Meghan said yes and yes.

She was so cute two nights ago. I was scheduled out of work at midnight, and at 12:07 I got a text message that said, "Can I come over?" I said yes but to hold on a second because I was finishing something up, and then she called three times before I managed to finish the something up. By the time I called her back, she was already 45 seconds away from being at my house.

Charis came over too that night, and the three of us sat on the couch downstairs talking. Charis at one end, Meghan and I at the other. Charis needed to vent about her roommate, but she left after a while. I grabbed Secretary (because I've been trying to get Meghan to watch it for months now), but we didn't even make it five minutes into the movie before I was scraping my fingernails over her forearms and her mouth was open against my ear, asking me why it is that she can't stop herself from touching me whenever we are watching a movie together.

Last night neither Kelly nor I worked, but Meghan and Mike both did. So we went together and sat in a booth for several hours. Margeaux and Kyle were both working, and that was sort of annoying, but it was bearable. Meghan and I ran into each other in the bathroom, me on my way out and her on her way in. I slid backwards back into the room, as I was halfway out the door when I ran into her, and she put her hands against the door handle to keep it shut while we kissed.

She kissed me again before she left, in the parking lot, raising the number of times we've kissed at work to a grand total of four. Before last night, it was just the once that I kissed her in the dish room (when no one else but Matt (who has since been fired) was present), and the once that she kissed me against the door to the walk-in refrigerator (which I saw coming from miles away and it was all the better for all of the tension leading up to it).

Today I plan on going back to bed, getting up and cleaning my room REALLY well, going to the bank, doing laundry, cleaning my room some more. Then work for three hours and coming back here to "watch a movie." Ahaha. Watch a movie.

( Pictures from last weekend! )

Also, leiascully, you shall have your blueprints. Hussy.

My body has no bones today. Three and a half hours of the best sex I've ever had in my life.

I've already been to work once today. Angela went skating last night and broke two ribs, so they were left with only one lunch server. I went in for two hours. I'm supposed to be napping now since I have to be back at five to work my own shift, but I can't sleep. I've been laying here curled around my pillows and purring.

Meghan made me breakfast when I went in. I just realized that. I'm going to have to tell her when I go back.

"I have a confession," she said last night. "When I told you we should be just friends, I knew I was in love with you and it scared the shit out of me. I wasn't worrying about work or anything like that. I was just scared."

(Also, this is a co-worker!Meghan and Sammi picture and I look stupid in it, but hey. A picture we're both in.)

My mother just e-mailed me a picture from last weekend when she was here. It's of the two of us. I don't even remember it being taken, probably because I'm asleep in the picture.

Honestly? It creeps me out a little.

[ETA: ( The picture. )]

Entry. I promised an entry.

I spent the night at Meghan's last night. We can only see each other outside of work when her roommate's not around - she also works for Steak n Shake and she's sort of unpredictable, so telling her at this point would be dangerous. It's frustrating that we see each other 4-5 times a week, but hardly ever outside of work, but the stolen moments more than make up for it.

Especially since I know how eager she is to move into a place of her own.

She's going to another store in December. She originally told me that they asked her to transfer, but it came out last week that she asked them for the transfer. (I asked her when she decided to transfer. "When I knew I couldn't just be friends with you." When did she know that? "Before I told you we should be just friends.")

This information came out during our date, which was the most romantic night of my life. Seriously. She held doors for me, and she had a rose waiting for me in her fridge when we got back from the movie. She didn't sleep all night, but she held me while I did. We had a lot of discussions about things we should and shouldn't do until December. Things like sex - if we're sleeping together, is that going to make it better or worse to have to play it cool so much of the time?

I told her, as far as sex goes, it's going to be hard either way. It probably didn't help that I was straddling her while we had this conversation, considering the fact we only reached a conclusion when her right hand slid up my thigh a few minutes later.

And afterwards we were cuddling and there was music playing, and I can't remember the song but it was a guy singing, and he said, "I'm so in love with you," which made me exhale-laugh into her neck, which led to questioning of what I was thinking about, which led to hedging. Which eventually led to confessions of feelings.

I hope I never forget her reaction. The way she twisted around in my arms and looked at me. She put her hand on the side of my face and kissed me - so soft and intently - and then were her words, which only came afterwards.

She met my parents last weekend, albeit only while they were in the store. She was so nervous she trembled, but my mom loves her already.

I've been sick and cranky since then though. My stupid period. I'm not even bleeding yet. I shouldn't be this miserable. I bit everyone's head off at work on Sunday (did I really? I can't remember now), and then I was sick all Monday night. Tuesday I worked - wasn't scheduled to, but I am a sucker for extra hours - but I started to feel sick again at the end of my shift. Meghan made me sit down, and she tried to make me drink tea. When I wouldn't, she took me out back and made me sit on the curb with her, and she rubbed my back.

Last night she told me to come over if I got out of work early enough. I got out at nine, which was early enough, so I went over and we cuddled on the couch for a couple of hours before moving into her bedroom. Poor thing had to be to work at eight this morning. I stayed curled up in her bed after she left. I found myself burying my face in her pillow every other minute. Smells just like her.

I need to clean up my apartment this afternoon. She's coming over for the couple of hours between the end of her shift and the beginning of mine. Ack. This place is such a mess. I think I'll do that after I get some more sleep though. Mmm.

(Also, because taikitten asked the other day, ( pictures. ))

Poll #831514
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 14

Should I wear this tonight?

Mmm. We cooked out at my grandma's Saturday night. My grandma grills a mean steak, and my great-aunt is having an affair with Jose the mailman. In other words, it was delicious and we laughed a lot. Yes.

( Pictures of me with my parents. )

Hee. Went to an exhibit opening tonight. Haven't been to one of those in forever.

It was mostly fun. I am going back tomorrow afternoon and buying myself my first expensive painting, as I have fallen in love with a moody purple crane. Me and my birds!

The only non-fun bit was when my mother accidentally encouraged the pervy old men to perv on me. (She claims the innuendo went over her head. I have my doubts.) I was standing with my mother, a married couple and then another man. The married couple were both familiar with Bloomington and IU, so we were talking about school... when my mother brought up the Kinsey Institute.

My mom: You've been there, right?
Me: I've been in the building...
The husband: A little self-directed study?
My mom: Oh, that'd be right up her alley!

I glared at my mom and made a beeline for the food table a couple of seconds later. Mmm, strawberries. What a delicious distraction from men who are way too old and way too male and way too married to be lecherous like that.

( Aurora! Art! )

So that was my night. We pretty much went straight over there once I got into town, and then we came home and my mom tried to get me drunk. Not really. She did give me tequila though. I played music for her (she likes the Justin Timberlake cover!), and we talked a lot, and it was fun, but I'm a little tired now.

Tomorrow my mom's going to make biscuits and gravy, and then I think we're going to head down to the literary festival before we go over to my grandma's for a cookout. And then I'm driving back! Crazy, but I have to work Sunday morning, so. Gotta do what I gotta do.

Apparently I'm just exposing myself to everyone this week.

I walked out of class yesterday and noticed a few extra buttons on my blouse had come undone, which means some people got quite the eyeful.

( ... )

Brilliant, yes? *rolls eyes*

Annie called me yesterday afternoon. She wanted to know if I'd go to the mall with her. I said I had to go to class first, but sure, and then she said, "Because I have to get a pair of pants and some heels and I figure you like girls, so you'll tell me if I look hot or not. Plus I miss you - okaygottagoI'llseeyoutonight."

Then she hung up, and I laughed. I tried on some pants while we were in Macy's, and I almost bought them because they were really cool - they were brown and they came with this stripey belt, but the fit was a little funny. It's not as if I need to be spending money anyway. Althooooough my bank account is in love with me this week *and* I get a paycheck today. Hee. I like being semi-financially independent.

My leg is very, very asleep right now. I'm going to fall over the side of this wall if I'm not careful, but oh the view.

( A much better, albeit blurrier, eyeful. )

That's Morrison Hall, and it looks gorgeous right now with the sun and the shadows and all the trees around it. Too bad I can't get a decent picture of it. I've been trying for days. Anyway, that's what I'm looking at right now. ♥

I went shopping yesterday because my old work pants looked like ( this: )

Now I have new pants that fit much more nicely, and a new shirt that may or may not fit more nicely. (The jury's still out on that.)

Tonight I was staring at observing Meghan's ass pants, when I realized that we were wearing the same pair, except for hers being smaller and having pinstripes. (They looked really good on her. I caught myself looking multiple times tonight.)

Oh right, did I mention? I have a crush on my manager. ( Hello inappropriate feelings! How are you today? )

Tomorrow's my day off. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm looking forward to Thursday more.

So! The other day I walked into my house, and I saw something on the coffee table. ( And I went, 'What the fuck is that painful looking dildo doing next to Eric's son's toys?' )

...I still don't have an answer.

Ahahaha. I love surprising people.

So! Apparently Annie was supposed to have sex with a guy tonight, but she has a date tomorrow, so she didn't want to "feel slutty." She cancelled on him yesterday, got bored today - and decided to call me.

She hit on me all night, and then she looked shocked when I didn't invite her back to my apartment. Ahaha. The look on her face. Priceless! Honestly. I have zero desire to help her feel like a whore. And less than zero desire to be someone's second choice! Also, she talked about her hair all night, and I was very not turned on by that. Talk about something else!

Ahaha. Her face. I'm still laughing.

( It's a shame she's so vapid. I looked good tonight. )

Completely shifting gears, I am dying of not being able to upload music. I made an amazing playlist the other day, and I've been listening to it lots, and I want to upload the songs, dammit! I guess I can settle for spamming with lyrics.

You see, I have loved the song Little Bit of You by Laura Cantrell for years now. And I've always wanted the lyrics to apply to me in a relationship, but they never have. I am not known for taking things slowly! Except the lyrics totally apply right now, and I can't possibly explain how delighted this makes me! Delighted!

( Little Bit Of You )

My heart! It twitters!

[ETA: I got recced! Hee. I like people liking my story.]

( Sammi is a model! Just kidding. )

A day as good as today was deserves a longer post than my laptop battery can currently stand. Ahhh.

I started moving today, yay. :D

( Picspam of my new place. )

Hee. I love it so much. I'm going to put my bed in the corner in the second picture, and a dresser along the wall to the right of the closet when I get one again. I think my parents are bringing that later this month. And then I don't know how I'm going to decorate. But hee. Space of my own. It's a beautiful thing.

Also, I was looking through folders of pictures earlier and I realized that I have next to no pictures of myself smirking. I smirk a lot. It's one of my default expressions, I think, so it's weird that there aren't any pictures of me doing it. Possibly because smirking pictures always look ridiculous, but yes.

( In which I smirk. )

Grr, argh!

I have an appointment in 25 minutes with a potential room/apartment/housemate, and I'm trying to figure out if I look okay or not, but every mirror and camera in the apartment is showing me something different. Oh well. His first impression is going to be whatever it's going to be.

( For the record, this is how I look today. )

P.S. Take another Emily White song.

( There is something to be said for a pretty girl in a pretty dress. )

[ETA: ( More because she's too pretty to resist. )]

There's nothing spectacular about that picture, but I find myself looking at it and looking at it, recalling the feeling of her face between my shoulder blades. It makes me feel good about myself to recognize the importance of little moments while they're still fresh in my mind. I file them away in the folds of my brain, and in quiet moments (or moments I wish were quiet...) I take them out and add more details as I remember them.

When I read Patience & Sarah a few weeks ago, I noticed what sparse use Isabel Miller made of descriptions. One character was described solely with the freckles on their cheeks. Yet somehow the characters are so vivid in my mind. I wonder if that's what it's like with real people too. We remember small things, but the small things paint a larger picture.

It's something to consider.

( Pictures for my own reference. <strike>I want to lose weight.</strike> I lied. )